Learning to Live from the Inside Out
By Kerry Cannava

We all have those moments....flashes of inspiration, when the universe reveals to us a deeper truth about who we are.. It is when we truly "get it", whatever "it" may be in that moment. Some call them "a ha" or 'light bulb" moments. Perhaps you have been waiting for an answer to a prayer, or trying to heal a particular pattern in your life. Suddenly where there was darkness, the light has been turned on. Clarity has arrived, and not a moment too soon. No matter how you label these experiences, one thing is for sure, they will get your attention and bring you closer to the truth about who you are.

I experienced one of these moments of awakening a couple of years ago which was a pivotal part of my spiritual growth. During this moment I received information from the universe that would forever change the way I saw others and myself. I was having a conversation with a friend about relationships, when this rush of truth flowed through me. I realized that up to that very moment, I had been living my life from the outside in. I saw this unsettling image of myself standing alone in a field, with a bright spotlight shining on me, with this circle of people surrounding me. The people were every adult I ever tried to please or make love me as a child, old-lovers, teachers, friends, and bosses. You name them and they were there looking at me in that field. I might add that some of them didn't look too happy either! And there in that moment, I realized that I had been living my entire life as one big reaction as to what others were doing, saying and being. No wonder I had been such a nervous wreck. How the heck could anyone keep such a crew happy all the time?

I realized in that moment that if I continued to live from the outside in, reacting to every life circumstance from the perspective of those eyes from my past staring at me, my spirit for sure would never soar. I would never allow myself to stand fully in my light. I would never experience the beauty of who I am. My dreams for sure would stay hidden on a shelf somewhere. Bit by bit, beautiful spark by beautiful spark, my spirit would die. I would be a prisoner, a slave to what others thought I should be and do. I would be a perpetual victim, never owning my own authentic power.

This vision made me queasy to say the least. There was a deep sense of loss for all those moments that I allowed others to define me. Although I had been on a spiritual quest for many years, I had never "gotten it" quite this clearly before. I was stunned, yet grateful for this insight. This was the biggest roadblock in my life, as it touched every corner of my life; my friendships, my romantic relationships, my career, and it was time to let it go. I couldn't stand to live this way another moment.
My life changed that day. I was given the gift of clarity. Though the gift came from God, I knew that it would be my responsibility to put it into action. I had to use the gift or lose it. It hasn't been easy getting rid of the little chorus I used to carry around with me in my head all the time. But when I feel that old familiar feeling of energy leaking out of me, I ask myself "whose eyes are you seeing this situation with?" Are you living from the inside out or from the outside in? If I see that I am seeing myself or a situation from the perspective of someone else in my life, such as a parent, lover, or a friend, I just switch gears. I see the world from my own perspective, from my own heart, from my own soul. And in experiencing life this way, I get to feel my spirit, the truth about who I am, from new and exiting depths.

Since I have adapted this new way of experiencing life my spirit HAS soared. I have experienced deep joy and love, even though my life is not "perfect". Challenges continue to present themselves. But it doesn't matter so much anymore, because I'm living from the inside out. I am free. This is where present moment living becomes a reality. When you drop the backpack of meeting other people's expectations you are free to express your true self no matter what. If people judge you, or laugh at you or tell you that you're not being realistic for dreaming such big dreams, it doesn't matter so much anymore. You are singing the song that God placed in YOUR heart, and no one else needs to know the words for it to be a masterpiece. And when you begin to consciously live from the inside out, and see the tremendous transformations in your life, you can't believe you ever lived any other way.

So I challenge you to take a look at your life. From whose perspective are you seeing it with? Do you have your own chorus of people from your past or present taking up space in your heart? Do you allow other people to define who you are? My guess is that many people do. We don't do it on purpose, or because we want to be miserable. It is just what we have learned here on earth. We unconsciously try to make other people happy or impress them because we think that by doing this our worth is somehow validated. The truth is that you need do nothing to validate your worth. It is just so. One of our greatest missions is to let go our desire to make other people happy and live from the core of our own spirits. It is here that the seeds that God planted in our hearts begin to bloom. Our purpose becomes clear, and we flourish.

Many people, mostly women, have a hard time giving up people pleasing, because they feel they are being selfish. The thought of "what will people think of me?" rules their hearts. You need not worry about becoming this selfish person who only cares about themselves. When you allow your life to be led by spirit, compassion, love and giving are a part of your everyday life. You become more empowered to share with others. So go for it! Dismiss the chorus of people in your head that tell you how you should be living. Become still and hear that small voice within. It is calling you. Live from the inside out and you will know how it feels to truly be alive, to accept yourself, and to co-create with this beautiful universe of ours.

Kerry Cannava

Kerry Cannava is the Founder and Creator of the award winning Web Site EmbracingYourSpirit.com…A Spiritual Retreat for Busy Souls. You can email Kerry at Kerry@embracingyourspirit.com or visit the site at www.embracingyourspirit.com