MY GRAMMARIAN SAID: 
"USE NEITHER CONTRACTIONS 
NOR COLLOQUIALISMS AND 
NEVER WRITE ABOUT 
WRITING." SO I WROTE: 
"DON'T PUNCTUATE ME, 
YOU S.O.B.; 
"I'LL WRITE WHAT I HEAR 
AND WHAT PLEASES ME." 

MY ENGLISH TEACHER 
CRAVED THE SENSUAL: 
"LET ME FEEL IT, TASTE IT, 
SEE IT, SMELL IT." 

SO I WROTE 
TWELVE LINES OF IAMBIC RHYME 
OF SPARKLING WIT AND GRACE, 
WITH REDDI-WHIP ON A 
CHOCOLATE PIE 
AND TOSSED IT IN HIS FACE.